the definitive daily cultural column curated by stefan boublil.

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  • theaptPORTFOLIO

    theaptSHOWS

    November 19, 2012

    alright, i know it’s only monday but i stumbled unto this hamburger-meal-made-entirely-from-powders video yesterday and i cannot help dreaming of feeding my 21 thanksgiving guests the exact same thing. the cleanup alone is giving my ocd a hard-on.

    October 10, 2011

    have you seen the news about this amazing concept in crowd funding a restaurant that’s all over eater, thrillist and grub street?… sure you have, because you know this is no mere gimmick but an honestly clever idea that none other than the apartment’s own former head of design, david lefkowitz (responsible for the back apartment and yelo among too many to count) has dreamed up and launched. i have known that he and his partner, scott kester (ex-avroKO,) have been gestating this project for the last 3 years and i could not be more proud that they have finally opened the virtual doors to their category-busting idea and unveiled not just a wonderful way to do business but a dream team of collaborators: daniel patterson on menu, dale degroff on drinks and scott mou on music for starters and with more surprises to come… and i’m very excited that we’re getting a peek into their process today because i had a chance to corner david and ask him some pointed questions about his plans, dreams and spirit animal…

    //MORE

    August 30, 2010

    oped-new7dear good people at kellogg’s of battle creek,

    about a year ago, my taste buds and i were walking, gingerly, among the good people of france, my original countrymen, when our shared bipedal locomotion system unexpectedly took us to a carrefour city market on avenue de la motte-picquet which seemed, at the time, no more or less enticing a mix of design, shopping experience and well-packaged foods aplenty than any other parisian suppliers of the time. little could i foresee that within, lay a product of such pure righteousness and exceptional superiority that it would spin us into a frenzy not seen since bloody chum was first laid upon the sea in order to tickle a hungry and great white’s olfactory receptors. indeed, upon peeping the very package (designed by landor) on the impeccably arranged shelves of the admittedly diminutive cereal aisle, your aptly-named trésor jumped out at me as encompassing two my favorite things in the world: a crusty shell and a smooth chocolate/hazelnut center. the third one being mozart’s requiem. i will have you know that my buds and i had no reservation about forgoing a formal taste test of any sort before purchasing three boxes right there and then, armed with a bottle of demi-écrémé, rushed home to see how many i could possibly fit in my mouth, at once. 13. and it was just as luscious an experience as i had dreamed it could just be a few french taxi minutes before. the golden shell melting just enough to allow the first bite to feel consequential yet allow the familiar core to seep trough and invade the un-prepared mouth, which, mixed with enough of the white liquid made for a sweet explosion which blew me back to those nutella-filled winters in switzerland, sent there by under-caring parents who could not have, themselves, dreamed of such possibilities for they had grown up too much, too fast…

    and so it was with glee that, upon my return, i jumped onto the web that is world wide in order to stock up for the winter that is long in all thing trésor. even though i had not ever seen it on the shelves of my local supplier, surely, a uniquely american company would have an outlet for such deliciousness somewhere within my state. so, color me shocked, dismayed and borderline manic-depressive when i discovered that nowhere within these contiguous united states was my youth elixir to be found. not on the internet, not able to ship from canadian supermarkets, NO-WHERE!!! why, WHY, i screamed in front of the understanding yet frightened gaze of my young children, why indeed was i not allowed to partake in the crisp chocolate/hazelnut succulence in the land whose freedom i have heard it said the whole world envies?! little by little, however, i had to admit to myself that such quest could not be fulfilled by lawful means for the powers that be had indeed forbidden my taste buds and i from an elation only once known in the confines of the french republic. what could possibly be the reason? why prevent three-hundred million people from chasing a dragon that is, until proof of the contrary, not hazardous to my health? is it to create a back-alley black market in which unmarked bags of the yellow puffs would be passed from chocolate addict to hazelnut junkie under raincoats specially stitched for the purpose? is it to attract the unwashed masses to shores un-american so as to alleviate the strain on social security? is it to simply make me angry? because i am angry. angry to the point of putting my family’s life in danger when i have to smuggle packs of the stuff in my luggage, wrapped in innocuous “paris rules” tee shirts in an attempt to get what i need where i need it under the noses of border officials!…

    it is then with this letter, that i formally ask you, kellogg’s, to please release tony the tiger with a trunk-full of trésor unto the unsuspecting american public for my midlife depends on it. i love it more than one of my children, i love it more than venice, the way the sun gently hits the buildings in the afternoon, i love it more than a cucumber peel, i love it more than flipboard on the iPad, i love it only the way one loves a god, something i had given up on until that day in the french supermarket… please, pretty please, make this wish come true.

    your humble servant,
    stefan boublil

    March 5, 2010

    360-degree-oven-lanzilloyou love chicken. no, no, you loooove chicken… you can’t live without it. crispy and tender at the same time, peculiarly bland yet unmistakably tasty, unquestionably vile and so ubiquitous as to believe them pet-worthy, especially cooked. you come to me with that love, to build you a home that celebrates your abominable passion for the game. my first decision, build an hexagonal room around the 360 degree oven by tony lanzillo. my work is done here.

    March 4, 2010

    babybelmediterranean schmiet, the mini babybel was a whole food group on my pyramid growing up in france! there is nothing that little wax-encased bundle of fermentation could do for me to hate him it even though, right there, next to it on the plateau, laid far more authentic st. nectaires, camemberts and other muensters… now, i am a weebit skeptical of the other flavors, oldskool as i am, but i’m willing to dip my toes in that gouda pool if it makes the first move… ok, that was disgusting, move along.

    February 24, 2010

    the-crewbrilliant minds need snacks, that’s just science. which is why theaptFRIENDS at the brilliance have started a venture that is deliciously close to all of our souped-up brains, a review site url’d snaksnak. and they’re just getting started! from the banal m&m’s to the less encountered andy capp’s hot fries, just watch that space, they will soon have it all and thankfully spare us the carbolicious taxing that would be tongue-testing all that for which we are hated and attacked by fundamentalists across the globe for ourselves. thank you ben and adam for doing this for freedom!

    February 12, 2010

    just a few days ago at TED, jamie oliver’s impassioned wish for the creation of a popular movement to inspire people to change the way they eat is something that is overwhelmingly close to my heart. in my life as a french person removed from his country, my search for quality of food is not only omnipresent but also very important as i have 2 young children, born here, for whom eating is unfortunately taught to be about consumption, not goodness. this mission is critical and i do hope that his wish is granted.

    February 10, 2010

    dscn2850

    it’s going to be hard for me to top what my lovely brother sebastien is doing for his lady for valentine’s day… sure, it was a bit preemptive on his part but that just shows the brand of evil he wields. above, a semolina gnocchetti with a jambo pesto. yeah, jambo’s an herb from the amazon i couldn’t even find in google… next up is anette-marinated salmon.

    dscn2847

    agrião salad, with cucumber and linen popcorn. which i don’t understand and i don’t dare to ask. then home-aged cheese with home-made apple preserve…

    dscn2849

    which is probably probably illegal in this free country. and finally some antipastos…

    dscn2852

    all presented thus on his self-built concrete kitchen counter…

    dscn2846

    now, i don’t know what you‘re doing for your lovely this sunday but the crotchless panties i had planned on ain’t gon’ cut it no mo’.

    February 2, 2010

    chef-negrevergne-meets-kossi-aguessy-yatzer_2i would have loved for designer kossy aguessy to tackled the bottle itself instead of merely the cozy for pierre negreverne’s 2 wine collection but i guess i’ll take what i get. pretty much the way i feel at home when my wife doesn’t shave her legs for a month, supposedly waiting for a “something special.”

    January 29, 2010

    seasonalitychartpdfthere’s a dream i have, a dream that includes not only equal rights and a multitasking iPad but the ability to only eat foods that are in season. as the chart points out, it can be quite a challenge for not only must you be willing to make a butternut cauliflower soup with a dash of rhubarb everyday in winter but must also have these ingredients available to you at your local market. i give up.

    January 15, 2010

    la2taking a welcome break from making all hotels different but, somehow, the same, philippe starck now tackles the fruitful world of olive oil packaging with la organic, an organic brand from spain with a horrible name and enough money to hire philippe starck.oh! oh! i wonder if the winner of his reality show worked on this one! aaaah, no it seems ilsa parry is too busy with ghost lights, never mind… the bottle is cute enough, eschewing (always wanted to place that word!) the usual vintage bottle look, he arrives at a shape that will surely stand out on the shelf. of the one store that will probably carry it.