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  • theaptPORTFOLIO

    theaptSHOWS

    January 5, 2010

    sizei hope that you believe me when i tell you that i am utterly delighted that v magazine is unveiling its size issue next week. i love the big ladies and their big lady parts. especially the folds, huge fan of the folds. and don’t think i’m fibbing just because i’m married to a 5-foot, 90-lb love gerbil, we always want what we don’t have, don’t we?…

    October 30, 2009

    59292_heidi_klum_heidilicious-16_123_455loi don’t know why photographers and models always have to take euphemistic verbal detours when putting out product that should unambiguously be simply titled, heidi’s tits… who’s with me?! these tasty pictures are from rankin’s new book heidilicious and could just as easily have been a compendium of the klums’ favorite children’s recipes. which it’s not. thankfully.

    October 20, 2009

    although not mutually exclusive, it’s always hard to put together the fact that a man who can be such a tool can also have such good taste. this short film, we were once a fairytale, directed by spike jonze and featuring everyone’s favorite interruptor of youth has finally hit the ones and zeros and tells us of a drunk night at a nightclub with the entitled aforementioned. the story doesn’t go where you’d expect it and the result is just wonderful. this reminds me that in most of the rest of the world, there is a real market, and thirst, for short films, and i would love to see more filmmakers give the format a chance, for its own sake, not to “build a reel.” 10 minutes spent in the company of a well-developped group of characters who do not have time to meander sounds more fulfilling that an hour and 45 minutes spent in the company of these people

    September 16, 2009

    heidi-fawcettheidi klum continues to make seal’s life an easy one by agreeing to pose as the world’s sexiest pinups in a new series by mark seliger now for sale at guy hepner in hollywood. make sure you click the full size picture to get to the loupe. then use the loupe to study the pixels. i’m using the loupe. loupe. goodnight.

    July 8, 2009

    miley-cyrus-bedroomtoppicat the risk of sounding lascivious, not that i have much to prove anymore in that area, i want to get into miley cyrus’ bedroom. there, i said, it. my children don’t even know who she is yet but i do. and i find something intriguing about her. not enough to buy her records but certainly enough to care about her interior designs tastes. i should probably go shower now.

    June 29, 2009

    brad-pitt-carpenters-worksbrad pitt, see here in his “common man outfit” took one look at the mini capsule hotel, a six-bed dorm by atelier van lieshout and he couldn’t resist putting one on his private beach. i know, right?! right. nevertheless, the idea to design an after-club crash-pad that does not rely on a friend having a horrible night of non-drinking in order for you to survive is pretty awesome. and nicely done.